The other day it was very foggy here in Michigan. I think the weatherman called it "pea soup." I was driving to work and I passed an electronic road sign that said "Fog Advisory." My first response was "no shit Sherlock!" But then I said to myself "wouldn't it be great to have control of the electronic road signs and video cameras?" The fun I could have with that kind of power. I would use the video camera to see what people were doing in their car and then change the next electronic sign they would see. I would do something like "HEY! You in the blue Lexus. Quit picking your nose." How about the lady singing at the top of her lungs? I could write "HEY! Lady in the red Ford Focus. Your agent called, the tour is cancelled."
I had a friend that was breastfeeding and she said she would drive down the freeway using her breast pump because it had a car charger and it saved time. I think I would write on her electronic sign "HEY! You in the Jetta. You sprung a leak!" I think that riddles would be great too. You pass the question on the first electronic sign and the next electronic sign has the answer. What about news, sports scores or celebrity gossip. How weird would it be if you were Justin Bieber and driving down the 405 in California and see your name there and that you were just admitted to rehab.
For some naughty holiday fun, on the way to your friends or family's home for Thanksgiving, look around at the people driving around you and what would you write on their sign?
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
Is it ever too early in the morning for an MRI?
For the last 4 months I've been struggling with knee issues. Both of my knees are swelling and "giving way." This may be my arthritis or it may be my Fibromyalgia or I could have injured them during my last Triathlon. ;-) OK, I have to be honest, my last Triathlon was a month ago which consisted of me sitting on the couch, switching from football to baseball playoffs to the presidential debate as rapidly as possible.
My knee problems led to a lot of changes in my life. First, because I was stumbling when my knee gave out, Vicki bought me a cane. I named it Louis for the Louisville Slugger in honor of my love of baseball. Next change, I had to learn to take it with me when I left the house, including taking out the garbage. This lesson was best learned at 5:30am one morning when I drove the trash to the end of our long driveway and fell while putting it at the curb. I was on the ground, butt up in the air, trying to push myself up by grabbing a hold of the recycle bucket. All I could think was, "don't let anyone see me down here" and "great, Vicki is going to say 'I told you to take Louis with you.'" No one saw me but Vicki did have an "I told you so" for me. The next change was the handicap tag that now hangs from my rear view mirror. This will come in handy for Christmas shopping. Lastly, I had to make time in my life for multiple doctors appointments. Not an easy thing to do right now.
So Is it ever too early for an MRI? I was up at 4:45am this morning to get ready for my appointment and work. I'm staying at mom's for a few days so it was an hour to the MRI lab and I had to be there by 6:30am. Let me explain one thing to you....Yesterday started deer hunting season in Michigan. This means people with guns are in the woods looking for deer. Understandably, this frightens the deer and they tend to run out in the road. I suspect screaming for help and flagging down cars for a ride. Therefore, we have to drive a little slower on the country roads. As a result, you have to leave earlier and drink plenty of coffee to stay alert.
Once I arrived at the "U" (snobbish nickname for the University of Michigan), I only had to wait a few minutes for the doors to open at 6:30am. It was clear I was going to be the first patient of the day. This is a good thing....which I will explain why in a minute. I completed the paperwork and signed off that I don't have any metal in my body. I also signed off on paperwork stating "if you have metal in your body and don't disclose it and it comes shooting out at a high rate of speed the "U" is not responsible for injury or damages." I know, comforting isn't it?
I'm siting in the lobby listening to another patient explain to the person behind the counter that he didn't need to fill out the "Knee Survey" because he is having the MRI on his hip. She then proceeded to debate this fact with him. I wanted to say to him "drop your pants and show her where it hurts, maybe then she would believe you." But I restrained myself.
The MRI technician came out and calls my name. I'm relieved that it isn't MRI Hip Girl from behind the counter. We walk back to the dressing area and she puts me in a small room with a locker and tells me the only clothing I have to remove is my jeans. She takes down a pair of scrub pants, size large, and tells me to put them on. I tell her that they will not fit and ask if there is a larger size. The tech says "yes, take two gowns and tie one around the front of your waist and one around the back of your waist. When you are ready, open the door and I'll take you to the machine." When I walked out of the room, I looked like I was ready to perform in the musical South Pacific. I almost broke out in a chorus of "Bali Hai." I said to the tech, this is a joke right? She said "what is?" I said "this fashion style brought to you by Wright and Phillips." She laughed and said you are lucky it is so early, otherwise, you would be sitting in the "holding area" with everyone else wearing that outfit. I asked if this happens a lot and she said "everyday." I said "why don't you request larger scrubs?" The tech said "because it wouldn't be as much fun." So no, it is never too early for an MRI.
My knee problems led to a lot of changes in my life. First, because I was stumbling when my knee gave out, Vicki bought me a cane. I named it Louis for the Louisville Slugger in honor of my love of baseball. Next change, I had to learn to take it with me when I left the house, including taking out the garbage. This lesson was best learned at 5:30am one morning when I drove the trash to the end of our long driveway and fell while putting it at the curb. I was on the ground, butt up in the air, trying to push myself up by grabbing a hold of the recycle bucket. All I could think was, "don't let anyone see me down here" and "great, Vicki is going to say 'I told you to take Louis with you.'" No one saw me but Vicki did have an "I told you so" for me. The next change was the handicap tag that now hangs from my rear view mirror. This will come in handy for Christmas shopping. Lastly, I had to make time in my life for multiple doctors appointments. Not an easy thing to do right now.
So Is it ever too early for an MRI? I was up at 4:45am this morning to get ready for my appointment and work. I'm staying at mom's for a few days so it was an hour to the MRI lab and I had to be there by 6:30am. Let me explain one thing to you....Yesterday started deer hunting season in Michigan. This means people with guns are in the woods looking for deer. Understandably, this frightens the deer and they tend to run out in the road. I suspect screaming for help and flagging down cars for a ride. Therefore, we have to drive a little slower on the country roads. As a result, you have to leave earlier and drink plenty of coffee to stay alert.
Once I arrived at the "U" (snobbish nickname for the University of Michigan), I only had to wait a few minutes for the doors to open at 6:30am. It was clear I was going to be the first patient of the day. This is a good thing....which I will explain why in a minute. I completed the paperwork and signed off that I don't have any metal in my body. I also signed off on paperwork stating "if you have metal in your body and don't disclose it and it comes shooting out at a high rate of speed the "U" is not responsible for injury or damages." I know, comforting isn't it?
I'm siting in the lobby listening to another patient explain to the person behind the counter that he didn't need to fill out the "Knee Survey" because he is having the MRI on his hip. She then proceeded to debate this fact with him. I wanted to say to him "drop your pants and show her where it hurts, maybe then she would believe you." But I restrained myself.
The MRI technician came out and calls my name. I'm relieved that it isn't MRI Hip Girl from behind the counter. We walk back to the dressing area and she puts me in a small room with a locker and tells me the only clothing I have to remove is my jeans. She takes down a pair of scrub pants, size large, and tells me to put them on. I tell her that they will not fit and ask if there is a larger size. The tech says "yes, take two gowns and tie one around the front of your waist and one around the back of your waist. When you are ready, open the door and I'll take you to the machine." When I walked out of the room, I looked like I was ready to perform in the musical South Pacific. I almost broke out in a chorus of "Bali Hai." I said to the tech, this is a joke right? She said "what is?" I said "this fashion style brought to you by Wright and Phillips." She laughed and said you are lucky it is so early, otherwise, you would be sitting in the "holding area" with everyone else wearing that outfit. I asked if this happens a lot and she said "everyday." I said "why don't you request larger scrubs?" The tech said "because it wouldn't be as much fun." So no, it is never too early for an MRI.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Busy and Busy and more Busy!
I haven't written anything for over a month now. Time keeps speeding up and I keep slowing down. It was a bad combination. I'm not going to take any time out to address yesterdays election because I'm so tired of the topic that I can't stand it. I've started to have an allergic reaction to the political signs that are everywhere. Now that the political ads are over, the media can focus on the more important topics, Christmas Ads. Remember, every child needs an electronic stretch armstrong transformer with spider man web making capabilities.
Thank you to the Wixom Police Department for finally catching the I-96 freeway shooter. It's nice to not have to worry about driving to work and getting shot at by some attention seeking gun toting dude in a dark Chevy.
The ex Detroit Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick's, federal corruption trial continues. His buddy and co-defendant, Victor Mercado, rolled over yesterday and took a deal the feds were offering. Oh, why do I think he is going to sing like the jail bird he is about to become. Orange jump suits are in fashion these days ;-) This story is better than a Lifetime Movie of the week. I know I shouldn't take such joy in someones misfortune but I can't help myself when it comes to KK.
Beulah continues to do well with her training and her need to get a bladder infection at the most inconvenient time. But is she ever cute. I went a couple of weeks ago to pick her up from doggie day care. Yes, she goes to doggie day care once a week, now shut up about it. Anyway, I arrived at the same time as several moms and dads and waited my turn in the lobby for the staff to bring out B. Standing there I realized that we act and talk to our dogs the same way parents do with their kids when picking them up from day care. One guy asked the staff if his dog was good and the staff said he played well with a Rotty (Rotweiler) named Roscoe and he bent down and said "good boy, did you have a good day with Roscoe?" The dog wagged it's nub of a tail and off they went to their car. The next lady takes her dog from the handler and asks the dog "how was your day? Ready to go home and see daddy?" Lastly it was my turn and I found myself waiting with great anticipation for B to come out. She ran out to me, covered in mud, rolled over for a belly rub and looked so happy. I couldn't help myself, I said "Hey little bit! How was your day? Did you play with your boyfriend Ben? Lets go get in the car, it's almost kibble time." After checking with the staff that she was a good girl, we walked out the door and jumped into the car. B was asleep in her car seat in a matter of minutes. She had had a great day at day care. I know pethedic.
Thank you to the Wixom Police Department for finally catching the I-96 freeway shooter. It's nice to not have to worry about driving to work and getting shot at by some attention seeking gun toting dude in a dark Chevy.
The ex Detroit Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick's, federal corruption trial continues. His buddy and co-defendant, Victor Mercado, rolled over yesterday and took a deal the feds were offering. Oh, why do I think he is going to sing like the jail bird he is about to become. Orange jump suits are in fashion these days ;-) This story is better than a Lifetime Movie of the week. I know I shouldn't take such joy in someones misfortune but I can't help myself when it comes to KK.
Beulah continues to do well with her training and her need to get a bladder infection at the most inconvenient time. But is she ever cute. I went a couple of weeks ago to pick her up from doggie day care. Yes, she goes to doggie day care once a week, now shut up about it. Anyway, I arrived at the same time as several moms and dads and waited my turn in the lobby for the staff to bring out B. Standing there I realized that we act and talk to our dogs the same way parents do with their kids when picking them up from day care. One guy asked the staff if his dog was good and the staff said he played well with a Rotty (Rotweiler) named Roscoe and he bent down and said "good boy, did you have a good day with Roscoe?" The dog wagged it's nub of a tail and off they went to their car. The next lady takes her dog from the handler and asks the dog "how was your day? Ready to go home and see daddy?" Lastly it was my turn and I found myself waiting with great anticipation for B to come out. She ran out to me, covered in mud, rolled over for a belly rub and looked so happy. I couldn't help myself, I said "Hey little bit! How was your day? Did you play with your boyfriend Ben? Lets go get in the car, it's almost kibble time." After checking with the staff that she was a good girl, we walked out the door and jumped into the car. B was asleep in her car seat in a matter of minutes. She had had a great day at day care. I know pethedic.
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